Carol Woods, “What if we were more intentional in getting training before bringing children into the marriage picture? Detailed plans are made for weddings, nurseries, showers, and even college savings programs. But do we really think through important dynamics such as in-law relationships, mom working vs staying home, incorporating both parents into the special bond of intimacy with a new little newborn?! Consider this helpful tool from the Gottman Institute:”
These 52 cards give you a helping “hand” when thinking about having a child. In this functional deck, each card asks one or more questions about how adding to your family might affect your life.
Partners take turns asking and answering the questions they draw from the deck. Each question encourages thoughtful reflection and dialogue about a decision that will change your life in a truly profound way. Sample questions:
If you decide to be a full-time caregiver, what value does this contribute toward the household and finances?
In what ways are you emotionally prepared to parent?
How might you encourage or discourage your in-laws’ participating in your parenting?
How do you feel about ‘hand me down’ items versus new items?
Don’t gamble on your potential family – play with a full deck and find out where you both stand!